Bar chart 分兩類——時間對比（同一類別跨年份）跟類別對比（多類別無時間軸）。本篇用四國工業／交通／住宅能源消費示範類別對比的寫法。12 格 bar 絕對不能每格都描述，關鍵是「挑冠軍 + 分組」。
題目與數據
The bar chart below shows the percentage of total energy consumed by three sectors — industry, transport and residential — in four countries in 2023. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
資料（單位：% of total national energy）：
| 國家 | 工業 Industry | 交通 Transport | 住宅 Residential | |------|---------------|-----------------|-------------------| | 中國 China | 58 | 22 | 20 | | 美國 USA | 31 | 38 | 31 | | 德國 Germany | 28 | 30 | 42 | | 印度 India | 48 | 18 | 34 |
完整範文（166 字）
¹ The bar chart compares how total national energy was distributed across three sectors — industry, transport and residential use — in China, the United States, Germany and India in 2023.
² Overall, industrial activity dominated energy use in the two Asian economies, whereas consumption in the Western nations was far more evenly divided, with transport taking the largest share in the US and residential use leading in Germany.
³ China had by far the most industry-dependent energy profile, with the sector accounting for 58% of total consumption — more than double the proportion seen in Germany. ⁴ India followed a broadly similar pattern, with industry making up 48% of demand, although residential use was noticeably higher there than in China, at 34% compared to 20%.
⁵ The Western economies presented a more balanced picture. ⁶ American consumption was split almost equally, at roughly a third each, while in Germany residential use was the clear leader at 42%, followed by transport at 30% and industry at just 28% — the lowest industrial share of any country shown.
句句 Band Descriptor 解析
- 句 1 — Task Achievement: 改寫題目。how total national energy was distributed 比 percentage 更漂亮。
- 句 2 — Task Achievement (Overview): 分組（亞洲 vs 西方）+ 每組冠軍一句概括。Band 7 overview 標準結構。
- 句 3 — Lexical Resource: industry-dependent energy profile + accounting for X% + more than double the proportion——一句三個學術詞彙。
- 句 4 — Coherence: followed a broadly similar pattern 精準 reference，避免重複 industry was also high。
- 句 5 — Coherence: 新段 topic sentence presented a more balanced picture — 提綱挈領。
- 句 6 — Grammar Range: at roughly a third each, while... 比較 clause + followed by... 附加，複合句展示 grammar range。
10 組高分詞彙
| Phrase | 中文 | |--------|------| | how X was distributed | X 如何分配 | | industry-dependent profile | 工業主導的組成 | | account for X% | 佔 X% | | make up X% of demand | 佔需求的 X% | | more than double the proportion | 超過…的兩倍 | | a broadly similar pattern | 大致相似的模式 | | evenly divided | 分配均勻 | | split almost equally | 幾乎平均分配 | | the clear leader at X% | 以 X% 居冠 | | the lowest industrial share | 工業占比最低 |
本篇避開的常見錯誤
錯誤：12 格 bar 全部描述。 像流水帳 China industry was 58%, China transport was 22%, China residential was 20%...——Task Achievement 上限 5.5，因為沒有 selection，沒有 comparison。
本範文的解法——兩層分組：
- 第一層：亞洲（工業主導）vs 西方（平均分配）
- 第二層：西方內部再分 USA（三等分）vs Germany（住宅主導）
每層對比都用 whereas / while / followed by 連接詞強化。