朋友題最常踩的坑——"We have a lot in common." 這種空泛形容詞,零畫面。高分解法:把怎麼認識的那一天當成敘事核心,後面再延伸友誼質地。
題目卡
Describe a friend you met recently.
You should say:
- who this friend is
- when and where you met them
- what kind of person they are
- and explain why you became friends.
POWER 一分鐘筆記
| POWER | 關鍵字 | 中文註 | |-------|--------|--------| | Person | Yi-Hsuan, 28, freelance illustrator | 名字 + 職業 + 年齡 | | Occasion | 8 months ago, café in Daan, queueing | 認識場景 | | What | she'd written notes in same book I was reading | 認識的契機 | | Emotion | curious, slight social courage required | 真實情緒 | | Reflection | first new close friend in years | 為什麼特別 |
完整範答(295 字)
¹ A friend I've made fairly recently is a freelance illustrator called Yi-Hsuan, who's about my age — twenty-eight — and lives just two MRT stops away from me in the Daan district of Taipei. ² We met around eight months ago at a small specialty coffee shop where I happened to be queueing behind her on a Saturday morning.
³ What started the conversation was completely accidental. ⁴ She was holding a copy of a slightly obscure essay collection by a Taiwanese writer I'd been quietly obsessed with for years, and she'd clearly been annotating it heavily — there were Post-it tabs sticking out from at least a dozen pages. ⁵ I stared a moment too long, she noticed, and instead of looking awkward she smiled and said, "Have you read it?" ⁶ That was basically the entire opening.
⁷ As a person, Yi-Hsuan is one of those rare people who's genuinely curious about strangers without being intrusive about it. ⁸ She asks the kind of questions most people don't think to ask — not "what do you do?" but "what's something you've been thinking about a lot recently?" — and she actually listens to the answer rather than waiting for her turn to speak.
⁹ I think what made us become real friends, rather than acquaintances, was the slightly unusual fact that we both work alone from home and were both quietly lonely in a way we hadn't admitted out loud. ¹⁰ We've ended up doing what we call "parallel work sessions" twice a week — sitting at the same café table, both of us on our laptops, barely talking. ¹¹ It's the most natural friendship I've made as an adult, and oddly enough it grew out of barely speaking.
句句解析
- 句 1 (Person — bio compact): "freelance illustrator called Yi-Hsuan, who's about my age — twenty-eight" — 名字 + 職業 + 年齡 + 距離。
- 句 2 (When / Where): "about eight months ago at a small specialty coffee shop" — 具體時間 + 地點。
- 句 3 (Pivot — short): "What started the conversation was completely accidental." — 短句節奏。
- 句 4 (具體畫面): "a slightly obscure essay collection... she'd been annotating it heavily — Post-it tabs sticking out from a dozen pages" — 視覺具體。
- 句 5 (引述 + 動作): "I stared a moment too long, she noticed, and... smiled and said..." — 三個動詞節奏。
- 句 6 (極短句): "That was basically the entire opening." — 收。
- 句 7 (Personality — abstract): "genuinely curious about strangers without being intrusive" — without + V-ing 結構。
- 句 8 (對比 — 引述風格): "not 'what do you do?' but 'what's something you've been thinking about a lot?'" — 直接引語對比,極具體。
- 句 9 (Why we became friends — 核心): "both quietly lonely in a way we hadn't admitted out loud" — past perfect + 抽象。
- 句 10 (具體儀式): "parallel work sessions... barely talking" — 友誼質地具體化。
- 句 11 (Aphoristic landing): "it grew out of barely speaking" — paradox 收尾。
Band 7 評分證據
- Grammar: past perfect、without + V-ing、direct quotation、relative clauses、rather than + V-ing
- Lexical: freelance illustrator, obscure essay collection, annotating, intrusive, parallel work sessions
- Cohesion: 認識場景 → 當下對話 → 性格 → 為什麼變朋友 → 現在的友誼樣貌
- Authenticity: 大安區、特定書、Post-it tabs ——具體在地細節
3 個可替換 Hook
Hook A — 工作上認識
A friend I've made over the past year is a colleague called Wei-Ting who joined my company about ten months ago. I'd been the most junior person on the team for two years until she arrived, so I think we both quietly felt like outsiders in slightly different ways.
Hook B — 線上認識線下變朋友
Someone I've become close to fairly recently is a woman called Mei, who I originally met through a small online book club during the second year of the pandemic. We didn't actually meet in person until eight months later — and then immediately ended up talking until two in the morning.
Hook C — 同樓鄰居
A friend I've recently made is my upstairs neighbour, Mr. Chen — who's actually about thirty years older than me. We started chatting last winter when I helped him carry an enormous bag of recycling down the stairs.
替換鐵律:朋友題不要說 "We have a lot in common." 講怎麼認識的那一刻——具體一句話、一個動作、一個場景。