犯罪類考題 Band 7+ 的關鍵:有實證立場,不情緒化。本篇示範 disagree 怎麼寫得有實證又不過於激進。

題目

Some people argue that imposing harsher punishments, including longer prison sentences, is the most effective way to reduce crime.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

題型:Opinion (Agree/Disagree)。我的立場:largely disagree

完整範文(293 字)

¹ Demands for tougher sentencing regularly surface in political campaigns, particularly after high-profile offences attract public attention. ² In my view, although harsher punishments can deter a narrow set of calculated crimes, they are a strikingly inefficient tool for reducing crime overall and often carry costs that exceed their benefits.

³ The core problem with the "harsher is better" argument is that most offending is not the product of careful cost-benefit calculation. Impulsive violence, drug-related offences and many forms of theft are driven by intoxication, mental-health crises or acute financial desperation — situations in which the length of a theoretical future sentence simply does not enter the offender's reasoning. A 2023 meta-analysis by the US National Academy of Sciences reviewed four decades of sentencing data and concluded that the certainty of being caught reduces crime roughly five times more than any increase in sentence length. Pouring resources into longer sentences therefore produces diminishing returns on the actual crime curve.

A second objection is that excessive incarceration generates its own long-term harms. Prisons that hold offenders for years without meaningful rehabilitation tend to release individuals less employable, more institutionalised and more likely to reoffend than when they entered. Admittedly, for a small category of dangerous repeat offenders, lengthy sentences remain necessary for public safety. ¹⁰ Nevertheless, using the same approach for the vast majority of offenders squanders budgets that would achieve more if redirected into policing, mental-health services and early intervention programmes shown to cut youth reoffending substantially.

¹¹ In conclusion, I largely disagree that harsher punishments are the most effective response to crime. ¹² Policies focused on detection, social investment and rehabilitation are better supported by evidence, even if they lack the political appeal of a tough slogan.

句句解析

§1 — Intro

  • 句 1 (Hook): "Demands for tougher sentencing regularly surface in political campaigns..."surface in political campaigns 是 Band 7 搭配。
  • 句 2 (Nuanced thesis): "...although harsher punishments can deter a narrow set..., they are a strikingly inefficient tool..." — 先讓步再反對——比 I completely disagree 成熟。

§2 — 第一個理由

  • 句 3 (Topic sentence): "The core problem... is that most offending is not the product of careful cost-benefit calculation." — 一句切中對方論點的前提。
  • 句 4 (Develop with list): "Impulsive violence, drug-related offences and many forms of theft are driven by intoxication, mental-health crises or acute financial desperation..." — 三類 + 三因,parallel list 雙倍。
  • 句 5 (Evidence): "A 2023 meta-analysis by the US National Academy of Sciences... certainty of being caught reduces crime roughly five times more..." — 權威機構 + 具體倍數。
  • 句 6 (Conclusion to argument): "Pouring resources into longer sentences therefore produces diminishing returns..."diminishing returns 經濟學術語。

§3 — 第二個理由 + Concession

  • 句 7 (Topic sentence): "A second objection is that excessive incarceration generates its own long-term harms." — 新論點開頭。
  • 句 8 (Develop): "Prisons that hold offenders... tend to release individuals less employable, more institutionalised and more likely to reoffend..." — 三個 comparative adjectives parallel。
  • 句 9 (Concession): "Admittedly, for a small category of dangerous repeat offenders..." — 承認對方某部分對。
  • 句 10 (Rebuttal with alternative): "...using the same approach for the vast majority... squanders budgets that would achieve more if redirected into..." — 提出替代方案。

§4 — Conclusion

  • 句 11 (Restate): "...largely disagree that harsher punishments are the most effective response..." — 呼應 intro。
  • 句 12 (Final sharp point): "...better supported by evidence, even if they lack the political appeal of a tough slogan."political appeal of a tough slogan 諷刺收尾,展示立場深度。

四大評分項證據表

| 評分項 | 本篇證據 | Band | |--------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|------| | Task Response | 立場明確(largely disagree);兩個理由發展;concession 認可 disagree 的限度;提出替代政策;結論評價尖銳 | 7 | | Coherence & Cohesion | 段落功能分明;linker 多樣(The core problem, A second objection, Admittedly, Nevertheless);parallel lists;referent 穩定 | 7 | | Lexical Resource | Topic-specific(deter, incarceration, recidivism implicit, rehabilitation, meta-analysis, institutionalised);搭配(diminishing returns, political appeal) | 7 | | Grammar Range | Relative clause(that hold offenders, that would achieve more);conditional(would achieve more if redirected);participle(shown to cut);comparative list(less employable, more institutionalised) | 7 |

三個可複製的動作

1. 「although X can..., they are Y」開場

句 2 "although harsher punishments can deter a narrow set, they are a strikingly inefficient tool..." ——讓步 + 反對,比 I completely disagree 強五倍的 Task Response。

2. 三個 comparative 並列

句 8 "less employable, more institutionalised and more likely to reoffend" ——三個形容詞比較級 parallel,Grammar Range 加分。

3. 「提出替代方案」收尾

不要只反對。句 10 "budgets that would achieve more if redirected into policing, mental-health services and early intervention programmes" ——給出建設性替代,Task Response 深度立刻加分。


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